GLEE Recap: Season 3, Episode 3

Once upon a time, there was a pop culture/media website that a large group of us loved very much until we didn’t. In it’s hey day it was filled with glorious recaps of our favorite TV shows. One of those shows was Glee.

About a quarter of the way through tonight’s episode of Glee I felt a pang of nostalgia for the good ol’ days when the group of us would huddle in the warm glow of our computer monitors, feverishly reading the recap, madly typing our own reactions in the comments. I miss talking about Glee. And since I’m still on Twitter hiatus, you all will just have to humor me and my recap.


Previously on Glee… (seriously? if you’re reading this you either already know what happened previously or don’t care).

Mr. Schu finds Emma’s stash of trashy magazines and to even the scales shows her his hidden stash of trashy porno magazines. He then wonders why she won’t introduce him to her parents.

Mr. Mike Chang, Sr. (and I’m not even being witty with name) drags his son into Principal Higgins office demanding a drug test because Mike got an A- on his last chemistry test, which is like an Asian F… hmmm, isn’t this episode called “Asian F”?

Coach Beast has a chat with her players about the importance of cleaning their Batcaves and bramble patches. You can tell from Finn’s reaction that this will be as emotionally scarring as when he ran over that mail man. She then tells Puck and two new football players that they’ll be dancing in the musical – it’ll help their future NFL/Dancing with the Stars careers.

After a tough time at Dance Practice Booty Camp, Mercedes finds comfort in her boyfriend New Football Player– wait… Mercedes has a boyfriend?! Who plays football and most likely threw a slushie at her in seasons 1, 1.5, and 3?! I’d be angry but the dude just made references to Wonder Woman, the Cheetah, and an Amazonian smack down. He wins TV.

Locker scenes! Mike tells Tina about his Asian F and how he can’t audition for the musical. Kurt tells Rachel he’s ahead of Brittney in the polls for Class Unicorn President. Brittney and Santana come over to talk some smack. Brittney is running on the platform “Girls Rule, Boys Drool.”

Musical Number Pep Rally!

After the commercial break we get the set up for this episode’s Diva-Off. The Directors pull Rachel and Mercedes in to let them now they’ll be singing “Out Here on My Own” from Fame. Oh, it’s on!

Mike Chang, Sr. busts Mike busting a move in the dance studio. Wait, no. It’s just his imagination. But Tina comes in to give him a pep talk about how much he loves dancing… wait that’s not real either. Chang be trippin’. But he decides to go to his audition anyway – “he’s been working on his singing”.

Mike’s audition makes me remember why I love musical theater.

The commercial break informs be Pete Campell and Justin Timberlake are in a sci-fi movie. WHY DID YOU PEOPLE NOT TELL ME ABOUT THIS!

It’s Dance Practice Booty Camp graduation day, and Mercedes is not getting her routine down. Mr. Schu calls her on it and Mercedes does on unflattering impersonation of Jan Brady – Rachel! Rachel! Rachel!

And then Glee goes and does something wonderful and new.

The cast re-enacts the “It’s All Over” number from Dreamgirls. It’s a scene in which a very proud Effie (or in this case, Mercedes) vents her frustrations with the new direction the Dreamgirls are taking. She deserves better and she’s leaving. I mean, Glee uses songs to move the plot along all the time. But this is the first time I’ve seen them tailor a scene from a musical to fit their plot and I loved it. Also, there were fedoras.

Mike Chang’s mom really does show up while he practicing his dance moves. And in the Moment that Makes Me Cry This Week, she tells him all she wants his for him for reach for his dreams and when he gets the part in the musical they’ll tell his father, together. And then Mike Chang teaches him mom to dance.

It’s time for the Diva-Off! If you’ve seen Glee, you’ve seen the Rachel-Mercedes split scene thing before. After, Rachel is rattled enough to go see Coach Beast. But first–commercial!

Mr. Schu has decided to take the proverbial bull by the horns and invite his most likely soon-to-be in-laws to dinner. Emma freaks out because her mom calls her “Freaky-Deaky” and her dad is Ralph from Happy Days. Her folks are Ginger Supremacists and live in a place called Red Oaks (Dan Faust has already devised a heist to break in and steal a some redheads).

Rachel’s new plan is to run for class president. She’s most likely not getting the lead and in the musical and will need something big for her application to not-Julliard. Kurt is having none of it.

Rachel and Mercedes are called in once again to let the Divas know that they’re double casting the role of Maria. Mercedes is having none of it.

Mr. Schu loves Emma and all her craziness.

Mercedes go to the Dark Side.

Quinn’s evilness goes unseen this week.

And that’s what you missed on Glee!

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